TV

I just watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  Leo DC was very presentable.  He was a cute child star working with Johnny Depp..  Johnny Depp seems he would not be nice to me in that particular way.  The singer was like the best I've ever seen.  She sang "Brave" I think.  It sounded like me but with a smoother ring LOL.  Some negative messages I got was that I was a fake and phony and they knew what I was really thinking.

Well!

My little diet is so hard!  I mean, I guess if I get hungry I can have cookies but I mean not eat it just in case.  I feel it isn't too late to have some effect.  I always was a healthy eater to some degree save for maybe my love for Pizza Lunchables.

I mean, maybe I am trash, but the diet would still make me feel better.  I want healthier desserts like banana pudding with Nilla Wafers..  Maybe once a day..  I used to have it like for 2 meals.

If I had to say so I'd say the diet made me hungry and I'm ready again, but I'm not sure what the end result will be of what I want to eat.  I was ready before, too, but I guess turkey like baby food is a bit expensive.  Maybe, that's why I ended up not getting it often.  I had to put down the cookies at this dessert, at least.  I was gonna make vegan chocolate pudding.  Not enough mullah.

I am always grumpy and upset..

..I got over the racism, but people haven't gotten over me that I talk to

Disagreement

It seems that my life is always a hassle.  Things aren't as happy as before.

Cute!

I liked the Japanese girl who was with her, was wondering @ that.  :|

I just watched..

Karen Carpenter's niece sing beautifully..

She is cute and nice.  It seems like she'd like to meet other people and singers.  The only thing @ that is Karen Carpenter is a big part of her because I know I met my aunts and we clicked in a funny way.  I never thought of it before.  Also, my dad is in her class year, so I was like-  My mom is a generic person, not Caucasian, so what can I say?  I have a special interest whereas she was born with the interest already and I was interested later..  I mean, she seemed lost for how to relate to other people.  Her dad should know @ Karen's class year, but I think he's a boy and she wants to please him the same as with my dad and I.. ooh creepy.

link

Disclaim any ill thoughts that may come to mind in my crappy writing here LOL hard to write.

^Messed Up^

I always wanted to do music etc., but like homework was a 1st priority for my IQ I guess.  You apply these subjects in the real world..  I feel unloved, like I'm a joke.  Like I had to not do anything else.  Then some little kid would come up and do it and they do.

Why in recovery as a better actor do you like me less?  Think I could be a singer and never get a chance to be like Johnny Depp.  :|  (Just saying..)

SO WHAT'S WRONG

THEN

Mad

Why doesn't anyone cuddle me?

How Insulting

What came 1st?  1st off I am not Asian.  I just have Asian blood.  I am less Asian than most white people, but I appreciate Asians more.

I was thinking of something else that happened like this.

Anyway, on this, .. why do you all act like an old bestie that if you dream romantically you're weird?  From Richard Carpenter's interview, bless his soul, all I can get is he's not really the Romantic Artistic type.  He may be, but he seems to be more of a juggler was what I was intending to put upon.  He may be some form of a Romantic Artistic type.  I wonder if most people feel torn to pick a personality.  I feel INSULTED for being a Romantic Artistic and Performing and Creative and Fashion type.  No, I did not pay $100 to get the true result.  I'm also an Action Seeker and Type A.  I assume he is also a Type A, used to seem like a good Type B..

So, what exactly happened, some feeling.. another 1 of those?  No, my life is not together.  I have so much stuff I wish I didn't have lying around.  It makes me feel bad.  I clean from time to time and get new impetus.  So, is it my singing or how would I have seemed rude?

You know, people all ignore me and say I am a schizo.  That's what's wrong.  My therapist knows, too.  Thanks a lot schizo Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I know what it is!

They're all racist, all the people are racist!  Meaning.. all the people!

My voice sounds like I am pleaing that I'm a great singer.

I am not around people enough.  I just sing alone like a eu****.  You know, I do have problems from medicine and undue couseling.  It probably made me sick.  I will not accept this treatment.  I know Ginny did this to me.  Stop questioning my race, I'm more white than anyone.  I am European and very much so.  I don't hang around weird people or like people of a different caliber or whatever.  Look, anyone wanna talk @ their problems with my racial attitude?  You all are seeing things that aren't there.  I'd like to see what new singers sound like.  You can sure twittle a lot on that flute of yours.

I do think that person is nice.  I just was fitting myself somewhere.  I am not sorry, they are the 1s who are different.  You can't be an insult to me, you can just say you have different taste.  That taste may be a racist taste.  You know, I've seen lots of insults around of my singing.  People want SWEENEY TODD!

Upset

I know I'm a good imitating singer.. once I get busy tho

Oh well, let's see what the problem really was anyone??

An Article That Hit Hard..or Whatever

It's nice Richard Carpenter is actually getting himself out there.  We love his star sister Karen..

I feel I would slide into a category of people who aren't good solo demos but would be at home in a chorus full of good singers..

link

Attitude

People born either in 1960 or around 1980.

Website Update

Race: White|Asian (Eurasian)
Ethnicities: Viking, German, French, Dutch, Irish, maybe N.A. indian
Hair: Brunette & Curly+Wavy
Eyes: Brown (dark|grayish Blue as a baby)
Skin: White + Tan + Pink
Demeanor: Powerful and Lean

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing

Website Update

I added I was a Thespian under a new category, Other Desires.

link

IMDb

Off My Diet

I got 1 look of my clean, clear face. Like crystal.

I just realized..

..healthy dessert = banana pudding

Mobile

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What do you think of someone randomly talking to you at any time in private?

TV

I watched an episode of 3 I missed of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I thought it was new today.  I'm not really mad @ this weird stuff.. but I felt upset I had to jiggle @ a possible future daughter..  I also find it a sin, though.  Why wouldn't it be?  Whatever..  Might be safe, hope everyone has to put up with it.  Oh well, it was cute today some of what happened, but I bet it was serious supposedly..

Why am I being snoot-followed?

It's not okay to say oh Christina you were punished by me at 27 and that's how I'm relating to what you are.

Mobile

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Problem

Now, the power turned off.  I don't wanna worry @ that.  Stop attacking me!  WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!  I can see you laughing!  Someone do something!

Problems

I got more signs from my dad who can't hold anything in so go away and forget I'm related in a way such as that cuz I don't like it.  You are crazy if you think otherwise.  Also, he said Mongoloid in his noise and then was all squealing over me if I didn't get upset.  So, I got upset and he still was following me!!

What and Why

I noticed people are trying to make me feel dizzy out in public or in the open.

My mom reacted to that today, and I just feel upset @ her trying to act like she's ***y like more than me or however it's done..

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

iTune

Question

Do older people sacrifice to be popular to lots of young people?

iTunes

When I Essentially Lost the Essence

It was when I got off my diet up north during the hurricane.  I was hearing things.

Cravings

I do believe in eating and a balance.  Like, I'll have pizza etc.  Sometimes, I just go and eat what I made.  Well, have had conflicts with that choice of lifestyle, as well.  I found even Cinnamon Toast Crunch made me a bitch.

I finally decided..

..I also had New England Clam Chowder.. I wanted to have turkey dinners, things like that.  It didn't work out after 1 of them, the N word thing happened, and my world seemed to disappear.  This was 2009.

It works like this with me.. like I only have so much energy and am used to living off lots of food..  I was just so hungry after the diet, but I'm not better.  Like, I'm losing fuel to type this and even think @ stuff for it.  It runs down the drain.  A distraction, too, thinking, and there I go.

I admire..

..people who are healthy.  I also admire living sorta the fun life.  I'm trying to stay in line first and foremost as a diet so I don't get cancer and die.  I dunno, I cook vegan and health food now but not often but regularly now.  I mean, my chili is still there.  If not, then I have stuff like noodle soup and mac and tuna.  I'm trying to also lay off the hot dogs.

I don't know what my body's state is, but I know I was very hungry shopping only at Whole Foods + school food.  The effects from dieting as a teenager also lingered on.

I'd say not sticking to a good diet was my biggest mistake.

..erm, something else the most torturous is not getting enough sleep, which is what causes the fat.. like stress fat parts.. not sure if you could eat chocolate and sleep and be thin, but my foreign exchange student partly did that.. who was French and German from Germany, 3/4 French, seems her dad might be all French

Well..

2008-2009 I also made homemade pizzas and I put spices on my miraculous burgers..

So, when I came home, I tried to eat baby food and formula, but since my parents threw it away I got fat.

I lived on cheesy pasta and hot chicken fingers.  YUM.  For a time.  I had buffalo chicken sandwiches|subs at 1 point for a short while.  It seems I've lived on burgers much of the time from 2008-2013, which is longer than my diet, which was let's see off and on kinda thing existed 2002-2005, which makes you hungry.  I had plenty of health food most of that time.  When I did fast, I skipped too many lunches and guess lost my sense of well-being.  See, the trick is to have a big breakfast and I guess not much at night.  It really worked, at 1st, I know.

I can only take so much.  I was a health hog.  When I thought people were watching me over camera, I felt more tested.  I went up north and in the end went just a few days on like ice cream bars and then I bloated.

Edit

I edited the spacing on my website.

So

New Orleans is made of France and New England and blacks.

Mobile Later

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TV

I just found out-

I can tell Ellen is sneering at me after she said what she did didn't mean any harm.

I saw my brother..

..and it ruined my morning in the end.

Problem

These people won't stop talking to me.  They gave me a *** message.

Nitey

Might go to bed soon..

I'll be minding my own business, and suddenly someone wants to say I'm guilty.  It isn't stopping!!

STOP

I didn't do anything.  I can say stop if I want!!  What's your problem?!

So, as I said..

..sorry for my temper, but who wants me to get better?

STOP

They interupted my thought process!  You want me to just go die!?

WOW SHE LEFT

GOT WHAT YOU WANT I WAS TRYING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY YOU GOOF

STOP

TELLING ME LIES TOO I SAID STOP AND STOP AND STOP

I want my privacy

from someone who's not my type and refuses to get along.  I am guessing you need to stop altogether.

My mom mentioned sleeping and I'm feeling bad.

Well

I think Ellen is doing it and it is wrong, just because of the n word thing.

ANYONE WANNA TALK @ IT YET - DOH

STOP IT I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU

...

I WAS RIGHT @ ELLEN SHE HAS TO STOP ACTING LIKE I'M MEAN TO HER

I SAID NO GO AWAY AND SHUT UP IT'S NOT FUNNY I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

STOP IT

I NEED TO HAVE A GOOD DAY

STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CAN PUNISH ME

YOU MADE ME MAD

WTF CAN I DO YOU WON'T STOP AND ELLEN DOESN'T CARE

SHUT UP

I TOLD YOU TO STOP

STOP IT YOU CRIMINAL WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Idea for My Room

I want to make the walls all aqua and the edges .. and the furniture will be medium aqua or bright aqua.  The walls will be a lighter aqua.  My bed will be aqua.  I will throw in some random coral, like maybe a pillow or something.

Sorry

I was out eating and got upset, something may have crossed my mind.

Video

Renee Fleming

link

Problem

You all are mean to me and want me to look Asian.

Problems

I will not put up with anyone attacking me because they think they have to because of the N word thing.

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM .. !?

STOP BEING MEAN TO ME AND AROUSING ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM GET OUTTA MY LIFE

WHAT YOUR PROBLEM YOU UNDERSTAND

What's the fuss?  Just forget it!!  This is absolutely .. ?

MORE PROBLEMS

I did something.. and now my parents have arranged it in the house.  It wasn't that bad.  They just are opined.

Mobile

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Website Update

link

Future Plans|Career
•Main Career: Movie Actor + Fashion Model
•Other Career Pursuits
 •Composer & Singer & Musician
 •Internet Talk Show Timeline

Mistakes From My Dad

I know for a fact it's that people think they are more European to offset a certain stereotype and then claim it as the more norm.

Maybe

some people believe you shouldn't talk to older people EVER.  I wanted to work with kids..  See, it just gets me acclaim.

Problems

Ellen thinks because of the N word thing she can say like I can't approach someone attractive like I never did anything to deserve it.  I'm pretty smart.  See, you don't care.

Wait, Ellen doesn't do that.  Why do I put up with this, this *beep*?

Problem

My passwords look different.

Also

I noticed a break in my German song of "The Tide Is High."  ':[

Problem

Why do people go crazy if I hit things?  Go get a life!

My mom just came and I think it affected my future daughter!  FIGURE IT OUT

Issue

I just got a karaoke machine from my aunt and put it in Spare Oom.

I know..

..I'll sell the full album of these 3 little songs for $0.99 or $0.99 each.

Finished!

3 short songs, gonna sell them on iTunes.  I wonder how low you can go.  Maybe the 1st 2 will be $0.49 and the 2nd 1 $0.99.

What if I came up to you and just basically said..

..my parents changed to be shit like your parents?  That's the kinda thing I wanna discuss.  How to actually put it..  like, my parents were just nice people, and now they're just mean.  They act like it's funny to be in trouble and I didn't do anything.  They don't say oh go to school or work or whatever or move outta the garage.  They just have a certain attitude.  Like, they don't keep their distance, never smile much in my presence unless it's @ something weird.

Isn't it funny, though, the thing @ shit??  I don't mean to apply it to everyone.. nor anyone in particular maybe.  I don't know how families go off, but it's best not to make it any harder.  Accept their kids for 1 and put them in the right track in life.

Mobile

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Problem

If I tell my mom what she did she can get me on more medicine!  Stupid doctor!

Well..

..like they think they're all that with their forceful moms..

Well

The word just came to me.  She won't stop.  My parents had fat moms.

Mean

I get a bit upset, like the English, and my mom called Karen Carpenter a lesbian so I figured why not **** her bc .. I forget but it's true!  It doesn't mean anything what that person says.

STOP

YOU DID IT TO HURT MY MOM

STOP

I don't wanna sit here and deal with injuries to my FUTURE KIDS - WTF R U - YOU COULD DO IT TO YOURSELF.  I'M TIRED OF THIS.  STOP TELLING ME I AM YOUR SHIT.

Food

I just made zesty chili with just vegan products - FINALLY - I do like mean, though.  I got ingredients that were like hot or made for chili.  Also, I have Asian food I like.

I feel..

..people are feeding me unwanted spam crap

STOP

MY MOM IS TRYING TO AFFECT MY FUTURE KIDS - WITH ASIAN WRAPPING?  AND FROM ELLEN?  STOP!  LEAVE ELLEN ALONE!

Did you ever stop and appreciate how machines are made, like computers I guess?

They are playing a little game that I can't get mad.  Also, like now I'm typing better, they might say hm.. and think of some exotic insult.  Anyway.. I was upset and didn't really do anything but feel defiant, didn't insult anyone.. how am I gonna get back what I lost?  I was stuck cleaning dishes!  It wasn't right in the 1st place, at least..  I didn't do anything, but they think I did.  They are monitoring what's in my head.  I am a good person!  Don't set me off the wrong track.  Let's just see if we can start a conversation on all the bad things brought about by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Tim Burton, who I don't mean harm to.  It was the other people he sometimes says, like in hidden messages or body language or tone of voice.  It was the way people reacted to Tim Burton, like a bomb that just ticked off, like a lottery winner.  Also, I don't imagine inflicting pain on others, but now they just said something wrong to me like maybe it was the right suggestion, with a little click.  I like the clicks, but they are just being mean!  I don't need them there.  I thought it was going to be something special for me!  This sucks!  STOP YOU ARE BEING MEAN I ALREADY SAID THIS YOU RACIST

Problem

My future daughter is being ruined!  I was thinking of something and my Gramma's weight came up.  You weirdos, I don't even "want my weight to come up."

Why don't you just tell me?

You decided to ruin my life.

This is illegal.  I can't talk to anyone.  I guess other people do.

Measurement

I addded it to my website, too, I'm 158.0 pounds.

i want THE experience

If I talk to someone, I want the conversation to hit home..

interview