When I Essentially Lost the Essence

It was when I got off my diet up north during the hurricane.  I was hearing things.

Cravings

I do believe in eating and a balance.  Like, I'll have pizza etc.  Sometimes, I just go and eat what I made.  Well, have had conflicts with that choice of lifestyle, as well.  I found even Cinnamon Toast Crunch made me a bitch.

I finally decided..

..I also had New England Clam Chowder.. I wanted to have turkey dinners, things like that.  It didn't work out after 1 of them, the N word thing happened, and my world seemed to disappear.  This was 2009.

It works like this with me.. like I only have so much energy and am used to living off lots of food..  I was just so hungry after the diet, but I'm not better.  Like, I'm losing fuel to type this and even think @ stuff for it.  It runs down the drain.  A distraction, too, thinking, and there I go.

I admire..

..people who are healthy.  I also admire living sorta the fun life.  I'm trying to stay in line first and foremost as a diet so I don't get cancer and die.  I dunno, I cook vegan and health food now but not often but regularly now.  I mean, my chili is still there.  If not, then I have stuff like noodle soup and mac and tuna.  I'm trying to also lay off the hot dogs.

I don't know what my body's state is, but I know I was very hungry shopping only at Whole Foods + school food.  The effects from dieting as a teenager also lingered on.

I'd say not sticking to a good diet was my biggest mistake.

..erm, something else the most torturous is not getting enough sleep, which is what causes the fat.. like stress fat parts.. not sure if you could eat chocolate and sleep and be thin, but my foreign exchange student partly did that.. who was French and German from Germany, 3/4 French, seems her dad might be all French

Well..

2008-2009 I also made homemade pizzas and I put spices on my miraculous burgers..

So, when I came home, I tried to eat baby food and formula, but since my parents threw it away I got fat.

I lived on cheesy pasta and hot chicken fingers.  YUM.  For a time.  I had buffalo chicken sandwiches|subs at 1 point for a short while.  It seems I've lived on burgers much of the time from 2008-2013, which is longer than my diet, which was let's see off and on kinda thing existed 2002-2005, which makes you hungry.  I had plenty of health food most of that time.  When I did fast, I skipped too many lunches and guess lost my sense of well-being.  See, the trick is to have a big breakfast and I guess not much at night.  It really worked, at 1st, I know.

I can only take so much.  I was a health hog.  When I thought people were watching me over camera, I felt more tested.  I went up north and in the end went just a few days on like ice cream bars and then I bloated.

Edit

I edited the spacing on my website.

So

New Orleans is made of France and New England and blacks.

Mobile Later

may or may not post

TV

I just found out-

I can tell Ellen is sneering at me after she said what she did didn't mean any harm.

I saw my brother..

..and it ruined my morning in the end.

Problem

These people won't stop talking to me.  They gave me a *** message.

Nitey

Might go to bed soon..

I'll be minding my own business, and suddenly someone wants to say I'm guilty.  It isn't stopping!!

STOP

I didn't do anything.  I can say stop if I want!!  What's your problem?!

So, as I said..

..sorry for my temper, but who wants me to get better?

STOP

They interupted my thought process!  You want me to just go die!?

WOW SHE LEFT

GOT WHAT YOU WANT I WAS TRYING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY YOU GOOF

STOP

TELLING ME LIES TOO I SAID STOP AND STOP AND STOP

I want my privacy

from someone who's not my type and refuses to get along.  I am guessing you need to stop altogether.

My mom mentioned sleeping and I'm feeling bad.

Well

I think Ellen is doing it and it is wrong, just because of the n word thing.

ANYONE WANNA TALK @ IT YET - DOH

STOP IT I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU

...

I WAS RIGHT @ ELLEN SHE HAS TO STOP ACTING LIKE I'M MEAN TO HER

I SAID NO GO AWAY AND SHUT UP IT'S NOT FUNNY I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

STOP IT

I NEED TO HAVE A GOOD DAY

STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CAN PUNISH ME

YOU MADE ME MAD

WTF CAN I DO YOU WON'T STOP AND ELLEN DOESN'T CARE

SHUT UP

I TOLD YOU TO STOP

STOP IT YOU CRIMINAL WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Idea for My Room

I want to make the walls all aqua and the edges .. and the furniture will be medium aqua or bright aqua.  The walls will be a lighter aqua.  My bed will be aqua.  I will throw in some random coral, like maybe a pillow or something.